(Er, Monster of the Month, due to sickness and the whole Christmas thing)
Golems are a classic part of D&D. Everyone knows the deal: you find a statue with massive eye gems, you pry the gems out, and the statue wakes up and kills you. Or somesuch. There’s more to them, of course, and that’s what I’m here to discuss.
For those living under rocks, Golems are animated constructed creatures, made from flesh (Frankenstein’s monster), stone, clay, iron, or snazzier stuff like mithril and adamantine. They are commonly created by Wizards who either have nothing better to do, or need a guard or something.
So, how to use them?
3.5 Edition D&D:
Don’t.
Just. Don’t.
What? Why would I even write this if I’m telling you not to use them? Well, so that I can tell you not to use them! Read on.
You should not use Golems because they make the game unfun. A Golem’s massive pile of immunities and high DR/Adamantine makes the following classes go sit in the corner and play cards:
*Rogues: should not be punished because they’re the best balanced class in 3.5 D&D
*Rangers: should not be punished because they suck
*Evocation Wizards and Sorcerers: should not be punished because they suck
Any decent party will simply have the casters cast a couple of buffs (Bull’s Strength, for example), and then everyone that’s not the Fighter/Barbarian/Druid/Heavy Melee will go and join the Rogues and Rangers playing cards. The Wizard can cast Grease for a nigh-instant win, or, say, Wall of Stone + Acid Fog if we’re dealing with the Greater Stone Golem or another which actually has a decent Reflex save. Again, we’re back to everyone having a tea party while the fighters hack apart the Golem or the Acid Fog dissolves them. It’s just boring for all involved, and D&D, being a game, is meant to be fun. You should never put in an encounter where some players simply can’t do anything. I’ve done it and regretted it.
If, for some strange reason, you still want to put a Golem into your 3.5 game, use the 4E comments below. Just pick whichever golem either fits best with your situation, or is the right CR. The Flesh Golem might be okay to use anyway, since the DR is only 5, meaning Rogues and Rangers can at least do a few points of damage.
4th Edition D&D:
Ah, now we’re getting somewhere. Whilst the Monster Manual has a depressingly low number of Golems (Flesh + Stone, that’s it!), they’re worth using now because 4E has removed the massive pile of immunities they’ve got. Now all classes can be effective in a fight against Golems, thus making the combat enjoyable, thus making it acceptable.
From a mechanical perspective, start by choosing which Golem (*sigh* of the TWO) that is level-appropriate. But don’t stop there: a Golem by itself is not that great, and remember: 4E is all about encounter groups. Now, for some reason the Monster Manual recommends a Lamia: no idea why. Suffice to say, any Controller works great with a Golem: the Controller impedes the foe, and the Golem applies excessive force.
Glancing through the Monster Manual, a few creatures stand out to me as being useful with a Golem. Note that thematically, the intelligent ones are best: they play as the Golem masters.
*A few Eladrin Twilight Incanters (Level 8): They can Immobilize, Teleport, and Blind enemies! Thematically good, as Golem masters.
*Gibbering Mouther (level 10) or Gibbering Abomination (level 18): They can Daze everyone lots, very nice.
*Grell Philosopher (Level 11 Elite): Dazing, Blinding… all good.
*Kuo-toa Whip (level 16): Blinding, Prone, and can hold people and slide them around.
*The recommended Lamia actually has lousy synergy, and I see no reason why a Lamia would be fighting with a Golem, especially a Flesh Golem.
*Lich (level 14): Not too bad. Good synergy with Necrotic Aura, and thematically appropriate.
*Medusa Archer (level 10): Ooh, that looks like fun. Poison and potential Petrification will certainly distract the players… a Stone Golem could be an animated petrified fellow…
*Mind Flayer Mastermind (level 18 Elite): Heh. Dazing, Immobilizing, Dominating… oh, and brain eating. Great synergy, and thematically fine.
*Mummy Lord (level 13 Elite): Not too bad: Fear and Disease help the cause. Thematically good: the Golem is guarding the Mummy’s tomb.
*Bone Naga (level 16 Elite): Wow. Immense amounts of Dazing, and some Weakening too! A Naga is often a guard, like a Golem, so they fit together fine.
*Rakshasa Noble (level 19): Blinding, Dazing, Stunning… and they’re smart enough to build a Golem.
You may question why I selected many creatures which cause Dazing, since the Golems’ own attacks cause it. However, Dazing really synergises well with Golem Rampage: the Rampage is most effective when enemies are grouped, and can’t make Opportunity Attacks. Daze restricts maneuverability and removes the Opportunity Attacks.
Now, the actual implementation will largely depend on the accompanying creatures: the Golem just tags along. Having an awaking statue is always fun, however it doesn’t lend itself well to having an encounter group. No matter how tempting it is to throw a solo Golem at people, I highly recommend you don’t. Like many big, stupid creatures, they are highly susceptable to being wiped by a smart party.
Killing a Golem:
In 4E, I honestly think the Flesh Golem (level 12) is more dangerous than the Stone Golem (level 17) for an unprepared party. Why? Because as soon as it hits Bloodied, it gets free attacks every time you hit it. You should try to shut down this defence: Daze will work, as will knocking it Prone, Stunning it, or knocking it Unconcious. Other than that, I would recommend having everyone spread out, to minimize the effectiveness of the Golem Rampage. If you can Immobilize it, close in and have everyone in reach: Golem Rampage will not be danger since it can’t move, and it will distribute its attacks amongst the party. Remember that at the end of the day, any Healing Surge in the entire party not used is a Healing Surge wasted. Take a hit for the Fighter sometimes.
If you’re playing 3.5 and you can’t work out how to kill a Golem, you either (a) have a Wizard, and have thus won D&D, so cast Grease and be done with it, or (b) can just get all the casters to buff the biggest melee fighter and wait it out. If, for some reason, you have no casters, just try to Power Attack the thing to death, although the DR, big damage, and lots of HP may cause you serious trouble.
In summary: Golems really only worth using in 4E, where they are a perfect example of how 4E monsters work best with other creatures of different roles to aid them.
Make wise monster choices, and you will improve not only the quality of the game, but the enjoyment of it for both DM and players alike.

Wands in 4E are often given the bad reputation of being the worst implement. At first glance, the magic Wands are inferior to other implements, and the Wizard’s Implement Mastery ability for Wands seems inferior to that for Staves and Orbs. In this article, I will address the Wizard’s Implement Mastery use of Wands, and also the use of magic Wands: not just for Wizards and Warlocks, but for all classes.
As an aside, as you grow in power and wealth, having level 8 wands holding level 2 Warlock utilities becomes increasingly economically feasible. You can buy 5 for the price of 1 level 13 item.


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