Monster of the Week: Goblins

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Goblins are like the eternal minion. Fireball fodder. Unlike Zombies, they can think for themselves, so are perfect for enlisting in huge quantities for random armies. Ever since The Hobbit they’ve been associated with being standard foes, and are thus included as such in D&D. However, like any monster, there are a few things to consider: there is definitely a right way and… a way that is still right (hey, D&D is pretty free-form), but not necessasrily as good.

There are basically two ways Goblins can fit into a campaign: as a random minion monster, or as a real living breathing race in the world. My own campaign has both types, each serving a different purpose in the game and story.

Random Minion Monster

As I mentioned above, the classic use for Goblins is for a nice green speedhump. They can think for themselves enough to get from point A (their home town) to point B (location of horrible death by PCs). They do this job pretty well, all things considering.

Goblins make great minions. Traditionally, they are small, weak, not overly bright, and come in huge numbers. They are easily controlled by more powerful creatures, and they have opposable thumbs, which is a huge plus. Give them some cheap equipment, and you have an army, right there. Whether that’s useful or not… I’ll get to that. It depends on their tactics.

Full Living Breathing Race

Somewhere along the line someone pointed out that it doesn’t actually make sense for G0blins to randomly go to war. They’re weak and pitiful, but not entirely dumb. Why not go peaceful and trade with the good guys? There’s many possible reasons, the most common is they get pressganged into it. But does that mean they don’t want peace? That’s for you to decide.

Many stories recently, such as the webcomic Order of the Stick, have brought us Goblins which are real. They have personalities, they have motivations. They do what they do not because they are random monsters, but because they have a reason to. When you think about it, this makes a lot of sense, and it a very viable option for including in a campaign: Goblins who are real people. Naturally, this is against tradition, but this is a roleplaying game. Sometimes creature should exist that aren’t just there to kill.

Tactics

The threat level of Goblins is hugely dependent on what tactics you allow them to use. Tear the Goblins straight out of the Monster Manual, and they can be taken down in a few rounds. However, nail some bows to their hands, and give them a defensible location, and they are actually a challenge. With cover, a simple fireball may not be enough, and they can rain pointy death upon any PC who dares mock their Gobliny nature. Throw in some traps, and the Goblins will become one of the most dangerous foes the PCs will encounter.

To quote from the 3.5 MM:

“The concept of a fair fight is meaningless in their society. They favor ambushes, overwhelming odds, dirty tricks, and any other edge they can devise.”

For example:

The PCs enter a fortress, containing Goblins with a few decent leaders. They see nothing, at first. They walk into the courtyard, a get shot by a volley from Goblins on rooftops, who then scamper away before any retaliation. The PCs then enter the main entrance, tripping a trap shooting poison darts at them. The PCs get inside, only to have the heavy doors slam shut behind them. Goblins with bows appear from behind columns on the balcony above, and a row of Goblins with spears pop up behind a barracade between the party and the stairs.

Goblins can’t do some of the tricky guerilla warfare thar Kobolds can do, but a situation like the one above is perfectly feasible. Of course, if the Goblins are fighting under other creature as minions, they are probably given no opportunity to use their own strategies: they are actually reasonably believable charging to their deaths, but only if a non-Goblin is in command. Roleplaying isn’t just for PCs: if, as DM, you are unrealistically sending Goblins to their deaths, you have failed at roleplaying them correctly.

3.5 Edition

Goblins in3.5 are pretty straighforward, except for one problem: they have javelins for some silly reason. Actually, I have always wondered why many creatures in the 3.5 MM are randomly given javelins. Swap them for shortbows, at least (same damage, more range, x3 crit), or (small) longbows (ditto by 1d6 damage). Bows also make more sense given the mass-ambush strategies they should be using.

They have Darkvision, so ambushes should be in pitch black if possible. Of PC races, only Dwarves match this ability; Goblins are as clever as Humans, they can understand an advantage when they trip over it. Other than that, there’s little to say about 3.5 Edition Goblins. Unfortunately, there’s only a level 1 version; if you want more powerful Goblins, you’ll have to add class levels. Use the Goblins as Character section, and the make them like a PC race monster. If you need a hand, refer to my post on Humans and other PC races as monsters.

4th Edition

Well, once you leaf past the Bugbears, which have somehow gotten into the Goblin entry, you’ll find quite a number of Goblins to choose from. I like it. Here’s a quick list:

• Goblin Cutter: Er, it’s a minion. Not very useful in pure Goblin stuff: remember, they don’t randomly charge. Handy as fodder in front of Orcs or something.
• Goblin Blackblade: Pretty dull, honestly. Not much useful here. Throw in as non-minion backup for Orcs or something.The ranged Goblins are simply better at doing what these ones do.
• Goblin Warrior: Nice ranged attacks combined with good mobility. Very cool.
• Goblin Hexer: A premade Goblin leader. Good to include one as support.
• Goblin Sharpshooter: Not quite as cool as the Goblin Warrior, but excellent ranged firepower. Decent for ambushes, or just general ranged support for other monsters. They also stay hidden if they miss an attack whilst hidden.
• Goblin Skullcleaver: Bleh. No. Boring. If we wanted heavy melee, we would use Hobgoblins or something.
• Goblin Underboss: Another Goblin leader, but it’s more focussed on front-line support. Hexer is generally more useful. Sure, you can have Underboss + Skullcleavers, but heavy melee should not be the focus of Goblins.

A note on Hobgoblins, which are also in the Goblin entry: they are a completely different kettle of fish. Suffice to say, they are the brute force, whereas regular Goblins are sneaky and rely on finesse. That said, a squad of Hobgoblin Soldiers holding a line in front of Goblin Sharpshooters would be very effective.

Basically, I would use groups of Sharpshooters supported by 1+ Hexers, with separate squads of Warriors as harrassment. I think the others are simply dull: other monsters, such as Hobgoblins, fill their roles better. I prefer using monsters and tactics that have  bit of character to them, to actually distinguish the types of monsters from one another.
So, to sum everything up: think about what the Goblins would really do in the situation they’re in. If they’re under the foot of another party, sure, they can be minions, but if they themselves are in charge, the Goblins really should use suitable tactics, and show to the PCs that they aren’t just a speedbump.

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